How We Can Better Cope with Grief and Live On With Loss

Grief is a natural human response we can have. It can present itself as anticipatory or after a loss of some kind. It is important to note that grief does not have a specific end date and can impact individuals differently. There are 5 stages of grief that do not present themselves in a linear pattern. These include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. 

Looking at the 8 pillars of strength can help us navigate grief and move forward with the loss. 

1. First pillar looks at our relationship with the person who has passed. Working with the loss is finding new ways to feel close to the loved one and learning that the love for that person has not ended. 
2. The second pillar is the relationship with yourself, which includes understanding your coping mechanisms - adaptive and maladaptive. 
3. Third pillar is understanding how we express grief. It is important to note there is no “right way” to express grief. Some examples of how someone may express grief is by talking about the loved one with others, attending memorials, having quiet reflection, and donating to charities, etc. 
4.  Fourth is the time expectation we put onto grief. It is important to not put pressure to feel a certain way by a certain point of time while processing grief. 
5. Fifth is recognizing the connection between mind and body. It is important to acknowledge the physiological component that occurs with our emotions, specifically grief.
6. Sixth is recognizing our limitations when going through a grief process. Some examples of this may be knowing when you can return to work after loss or what boundaries you may need with others around you. 
7. Seventh is finding structure and flexibility in the chaos and mix of the grieving process. It is important to keep habits and routine to some degree during grief. When we let go of our habits and routine, this can lead to worsening our emotional and physical state. For example, maintaining your physical exercise routine or engaging socially. 
8. Eight is focusing on your somatic sensations if we don’t have words to describe how we are feeling and our thoughts behind our grief process to continue to allow space for processing. 

At Lexington Counseling and Psychiatry - Office of Paul Dalton - we have providers who can help assist you through the grief process. Call us at 859.338.0466 to schedule an appointment. Our current offices are located in Lexington, Frankfort, and Richmond, KY - we have been trusted mental health professionals in Central Kentucky for over 22 years! 

Supporting Articles: 

https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/5-stages-of-grief-coping-with-the-loss-of-a-loved-one

https://juliasamuel.co.uk/pillars-of-strength

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/caregiving/grief-and-loss