We offer relationship counseling in Lexington KY. For your convenience, we have offices located in Richmond KY and Frankfort KY to help with your relationship counseling and therapy needs!
Relationship counseling is the establishment of a therapeutic relationship between a counselor and the members of a romantic or family relationship with the goal of helping improve communication strategies, re-establish intimacy, and educate the couple with techniques which can be used in the future as necessary. The goal of relationship counseling is to help preserve the relationship, save the marriage, and or help family members reach their goals. Many times this is called marriage counseling, family therapy, or family counseling.
Relationship counseling is a structured approach, with a mediator, to addressing the issues which come with the territory of being in a committed relationship. The therapy which is delivered in these sessions has been tested, assessed, and found effective. This is known as evidence-based treatment and it allows therapy to become “proven effective.”
Relationship counseling is the process or working as a couple, with your counselor, in order to voice concerns you may have in the relationship as well as your hopes for the future. In relationship counseling you will learn skills to help facilitate more frequent communication, come to a deeper understanding of one another, and learn more effective communication strategies.
What Issues Can It Help With?
A romantic relationship is often seen as the bedrock upon which we rest our lives. When there is discontent in the relationship it can lead to an increase in anxiety, a higher prevalence of depression, sexual dysfunction, and anger or resentment. These issues can be lessened with the assistance of a relationship therapist. Other issues, such as infidelity or difficulty communicating can also be addressed and worked through with a competent therapist acting as an unbiased mediator.
Issues such as depression, low self-esteem, and increased anxiety are just a few of the issues which can stem from relationship discord. These issues, and others like them, can find some alleviation when a competent counselor effectively applies the tools and techniques which allow a healthy relationship to take shape and bloom.
Whether you are experiencing a high number of arguments, issues with commitment or infidelity, communication problems or conflict avoidance, or sexual dysfunction/disharmony relationship counseling can offer assistance and alleviation to a varying degree. Success is largely dependent upon the determination of the couple but an effective relationship counselor will make certain that the members of the relationship never forget that there is always hope to save the marriage.
What If My Partner Doesn’t Want To Go?
This is a common concern which can often prevent people from seeking out a counselor with expertise in the field of relationships and marriage. While the data insists that progress is made much faster by the equal participation of both parties, improvement can be achieved even if only one person is attending sessions. The process of learning more effective communication strategies will help to reduce tension and may help the unwilling partner see the benefits of attending relationship counseling.
One of the most effective ways to address the issue of your partner not wanting to attend relationship counseling is to talk about the reasons they do not want to go. While progress can be made with just one person working toward saving the relationship, it is far more effective if both parties are involved. The difference is to recognize when someone is not willing to go to therapy and when someone is not willing to work in the relationship. Attempt to discuss the reasons that attending therapy would be beneficial and why it is important for you.
The most effective technique for getting your partner on board for relationship counseling is to talk with them. Listen to their reasoning for not wanting to attend therapy while voicing your concerns about why therapy would be a good idea. You want to keep in mind that preserving the relationship is the goal and therefore it is critical to remind your partner that the relationship is important to you. Listen to their concerns and try to see things from their perspective while maintaining that the relationship is in need of some help.
How Do We Find The Counselor For Us?
The search for a competent counselor should begin with word-of-mouth searches. Ask those you know, family and friends, to recommend a counselor or even recommend a counselor to avoid. The search can take some time but when attempting to preserve the relationship it is important to find a counselor who makes both of you feel comfortable and heard. The counselor should be unbiased and should keep the goal of saving the relationship at the forefront of the session goals.
The counselor should make you feel that you are safe, that you and your partner are in good hands. If you find yourself in a situation wherein you doubt the motives of the counselor or you feel that you are allowed to argue unchecked during therapy, it may be important to find another counselor.
The therapist should be compassionate to both members of the relationship and actively try to help communicate that there is hope for your relationship. The therapist should be an ever present entity in the therapeutic environment, forming the structure of the sessions and mediating disputes. The therapist is there to challenge you and the progress you are attempting to make within the bounds of your relationship.
Does It Work?
Relationship counseling has been shown to be very effective when the techniques and skills are religiously applied by the members of the relationship. Like all things, reparations to a relationship take time. Do not be disheartened if things seem to get worse before getting better. It is difficult to make a change but it is not impossible. Relationship counseling can help with the troubled aspects of your relationship; if you think you need help, please, seek it out.
The most important thing to remember when considering relationship counseling is that the counselor cannot save your marriage. The only way to save the relationship is to put in the work. It takes two dedicated individuals whom are willing to work through the issues which can cause strife in the relationship. The only way to make progress is to work through the issues as the come up, but the manner by which you work through them should be healthy and effective means of resolving conflict.
Tips To Use
Talk to your partner. Talk to them about their hopes, their dreams, what they did during the day.
Make the things that are important to them, important to you.
When the relationship is in turmoil sometimes the best thing to do is to go back to the basics. Re-find the person you fell in love with by becoming familiar with their favorite things in life. What is their favorite color? Movie? Food? Just because you knew it once does not mean that it hasn’t changed.
Point out the positives your partner exhibits, tell them what makes your smile, what makes you happy.
Make them a part of your life.
The myths which are prevalent in our society concerning the attendance of counseling sessions are astounding. The most common myth is that relationship counseling will lead to a separation. The possibility of a separation may be a factor that both members of the relationship are trying to avoid and the overall goal of relationship therapy is to preserve the relationship. The counselor does not make decisions for the couple but offers support of their decision regardless of what outcome they desire.
There are innumerable myths surrounding the world of counseling. Herein are presented a few myths and the facts which dispute the myths. These links provide valuable information for anyone who buys into the hype that counseling cannot help or that problems must be severe in order for therapy to be a viable option. The help is all around you; if you feel that talking to someone could help even a little, do not hesitate to call.
Relationship therapy focuses around the techniques you can use to help build the relationship you want to have with your partner. As a co-founder of StrongMarriageNow.com, Dr. Fillmore offers online videos wherein skills to use in tandem with therapy can be obtained.
This is the first of a large session of videos present on youtube which discuss the elements of building a strong, solid marriage. Titled, His Needs vs Her Needs, this video introduces the term “Love Bank” and how it is already an element of your relationship.
Seek help in your relationship! We can help you today. Our trained and experienced staff will dedicate their time and effort into helping you work on your marriage!