Drifting Apart

Drifting Apart in Lexington, Richmond & Frankfort KY

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What is Drifting Apart?

Drifting apart takes place when a married couple becomes increasingly less passionate toward each other and has less interest in the life of the other. Fast drifting might be triggered by a major dishonest deed, such as having an affair or neglecting a partner when she needs the agent most. Slow drifting in falling out of love frequently occurs in situations when the couple comes to know each other better, and they gradually realize that they have nothing in common.

Drifting apart can mean that couples simply do not feel connected to one another any longer, and they may begin to see and speak to one another less and less frequently. This effect can take its toll on a marriage, even leading to a separation or divorce if the couple doesn’t try to work on the problem. Fortunately, recognizing that you and your spouse might be drifting apart is the first step towards getting help and fixing your partnership.

Signs & Symptoms

Drifting apart can come in many forms. These are just a few of the common signs expressed when drifting apart occurs:
  • Less Intimacy – when your relationship is missing intimacy, you will notice it. Over time, you and your partner may simply stop cuddling at night, holding hands, being intimate, or showing any other signs of affection.  
  • Lack of Communication –When a relationship begins drifting apart, you and your partner may stop communicating about the important things, such as feelings or moods. Additionally, you may realize that you no longer have anything to talk about at all.
  • No Common Interests – As relationships progress, you may realize that you and your partner do not have any interests in common any longer, which can cause you to grow apart. 
  • Less One-on-One Time – Spending time together, one-on-one, is important in every relationship. If you are spending less time together, it can be an indicator that you are starting to drift apart. 
  • Feelings of Distance and Detachment – If you can sense a distance or detachment between you and your partner when you are together, then it might be a telltale sign that you are drifting apart.
  • Frequent Fights – Every couple fights. But, if you or your partner starts picking fights over the littlest things or if you find yourselves fighting more than talking, then it can be a warning sign for drifting apart. 
  • Priorities Have Changed – If you and your partner no longer put in the effort that is needed to keep the spark alive, then you need to reevaluate your priorities and determine if your relationships is a priority.
  • Separate Social Lives – If your partner is not including you in their social life, including being with their friends or family, it can be a sign that you are drifting apart. 

Diagnosis & Treatment Options

If you take time to work on your relationship, you will find that all aspects of your relationship will get better, preventing you and your partner from drifting apart. Refer to these tips for ideas on how to rebuild your relationship:
  • Take responsibility for your actions and avoid placing blame on your partner.
  • Make your relationship a top priority. Devote yourself to your partner and work hard to make your relationship work. 
  • Spend time together as a couple by scheduling weekly date nights, if possible. If you have children, try to find time to be alone together. Focus on spending quality time together. 
  • Investigate each other’s interests and hobbies or discover new things together. Sharing common interests with your partner can reinvigorate your relationship.

There Is Hope!

Growing together as a couple is an essential component in any lasting, happy marriage. It takes a lot of energy and commitment, but there certainly are steps you can take to avoid drifting apart. If you feel like you and your partner have already drifted apart, and you are not sure what to do next, seek professional help. Marriage counseling can assist you in improving your bond and can help you stay emotionally connected to one another. Contact our office today to set up a marriage counseling appointment to get more information about drifting apart, or visit these websites.

New Client Info
Lexington, KY

Darby Creek Location
501 Darby Creek Road
Suite 11
Lexington KY, 40509
Phone: 859-338-0466
Fax: 859-294-0802

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By Paul Dalton 05 Feb, 2016
So you live in Kentucky and only a few more weeks until spring. Everyone should be happy and feel better about that, right? I think most of us get a sense of relief and hope, and that cognitive energy to bust out of the winter season and get moving. For some, the spring can be a rough time. Depression, anxiety, bi-polar disorder, and relationship issues prevent the spring season from being all that it could be. Following are some reasons that these and other conditions may worsen in the spring, a few resources for you, and some concrete strategies you can implement to help yourself. 

So why do people struggle some in the spring when it should be all flowers and sunshine? 

1. Sleep
Many times the spring season causes a change in our circadian rhythm . The sun wakes you up in the am, it is difficult to keep a routine, and restlessness all contribute to the sleep problem. Our eating in the winter and spring can affect how much we sleep. Caffeine, napping, undereating, and how much we are moving, all contribute to how much we sleep. Spring likely has an effect on melatonin in the body, which aids in sleep. 

Strategies that help are EXERCISE and EATING RIGHT! If you keep moving with the help of  a tool like a Fitbit or utilize regular exercise of 45 minutes or more 4-5 times per week, you are far less likely to have sleep problems. Exercise helps you sleep. Exercise helps you eat better. Eating and sleeping adequately can reduce your stress and fight any symptoms you may have. Eating healthy keeps your mind, body, and spirit in a positive place. When your body is well, your mind has a great chance of being well too. Sounds too simple? Give it a try!

The sleep foundation can help here :  Sleep Foundation Healthy Sleep Tips
Eating Right For Spring
Here is a good link to read on symptoms getting worse in the spring: Spring Makes Symptoms Worse

2. Spring Fever is Real
Our office has existed for over 15 years now. I can tell you that March to May is our busiest time of the year, always. Bipolar disorder, marital infidelity, depression, and anxiety are the main reasons people call us in the spring. The real causes of spring fever include longer days that produce more sunshine and increased energy, changes in hormone production, sleep cycles, nutrition and diet changes, body needs, and possibly, a lack of self care. When we bust of out winter here in Kentucky we sometimes forget that it takes a little time to get our minds and bodies in shape for yard work, spring cleaning, and for many, an increased workload all the way around. Here are some links to let you know spring fever is real. 

Spring Fever
WEB MD-You Give Me Spring Fever
Wiki Spring Fever
Spring Time Bad for Depression

3. Expectations Are High

Sometimes in spring we have been thinking about all the things we should of, could of, would of done if we had lived in San Diego or Florida during our winter days. The reality of being human can set in when we find out that spring has sprung, it is time to get moving, and we don't have the energy or drive to complete our list of high expectations. Many people are disappointed in themselves and these outcomes. Don't worry about it. 

Strategies you can use include setting small attainable goals you can feel good about. Work on your list a little at a time. Make goals that regular people can reach with time built in for you to EXERCISE AND SLEEP. Do a mix of things that you enjoy and are healthy for you while completing your responsibilities. If you deny yourself from pleasure too long, that strategy is likely to backfire. Have a good balanced approach. Use a checklist that has 3 sections. One section is for today. One section is for the week. Reserve one part of the list for things your are really wanting to do. Put a vacation or planned fun activities on a calendar. Look up things you might want to do during that time online. Planning, thinking and dreaming are fine. They keep us hopeful. 

Tiny Buddha Expectations and Disappointment
Expectations at The Silent Blog
Three Ways Expectations Can Hurt You

4. Allergies

If you live in Kentucky, you know about allergies. Kentucky is known to be one of the worst states when it comes to spring and fall allergies.  Louisville is ranked as one of the worst cities in the entire country to live in due to allergies.   Many times people are unaware they are being affected. Sometimes the symptoms are less obvious than a runny nose, cough, and cold like symptoms. Many times people are lethargic, grouchy, have headaches, and have cognitive deficits. The allergic affect we have in Kentucky can quickly turn into a sinus infection, bronchitis, ear infections, and other maladies that make us mentally and physically drained. That flower below can cause us some issues! 

Get to a doctor. Take a seasonal allergy medication. Some are mild, like Allegra (please get your physician's approval before taking allergy medications) and can be taken everyday. Prescription nose sprays may help, but may also have some cognitive or mood altering side effects. Be careful, but don't suffer! Get help from an allergist if you need it. 

Allergy Resources
Pollen Map
How to Beat Spring Allergies by WEB MD
By creekmoremarketing 21 Sep, 2015

Welcome to our website!

Therapy is a great choice. It works, and I hope you make a commitment today to start. Most people find the idea of attending therapy with a therapist or counselor far more scary than the actual process itself. Here is a link that describes how the process works at our locations.

Our therapists are located in Lexington, Frankfort and Richmond, KY. See individual profiles of our therapy providers here . I hire our professionals personally and attempt to provide you with someone that will care about your outcome and treat you well. These are experts at counseling and therapy and provide services you will want to tell others about.

Our clinicians care, and you will know they are different in that respect. Providing therapy in Central Kentucky is much more than a job to our therapists. It is a profession, and a way of life.

Please let us help you today!   Contact us here   or at 859.338.0466 now.


Paul D. Dalton, MS, LPCC, CADC

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What is therapy?

Therapy is more long-term than counseling and focuses on a broader range of issues. The underlying principle is that a person's patterns of thinking and unconscious awareness affect the way that person interacts with the world. The goal is to uncover those patterns and become aware of their effect and then learn new, healthier ways to think and interact.
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