What are Differences in Parenting Style?
If your parenting style differs from your partner, it can be both frustrating and destructive creating distance between partners and confusion among the kids. Although most parents study up on parenting before they have children, parenting styles are largely instinctual and unconscious. They can be influenced by how we were raised, what we have been taught, or our culture, personality, family size, parental background, socioeconomic status, educational level or religion..
Types of Parenting Styles
There are four main types of parenting styles that can lead to differences between partners.
1. Authoritarian Parenting
– In authoritarian parenting, children are expected to follow strict rules established by the parents. Failure to follow these rules results in punishments without any explanation for the rule or punishment. “Because I said so,” is a common response. Children raised with authoritarian parenting typically are obedient and proficient, but are not as socially competent or happy as peers.
2. Authoritative Parenting
– Authoritative parenting establishes rules with explanations provided for them, as well as for any associated punishments. Generally, authoritative parents are more responsive to their children and more willing to listen to questions, making this style more democratic. Children of authoritative parents tend to be happier and more successful than other children.
3. Permissive Parenting
– Permissive parents have very few demands of their children and rarely discipline them because they have low expectations of maturity and self-control. Permissive parents act more like friends than parents. Children of permissive parents often have trouble with those in authority and have difficulty self-regulating. They are also more likely to experiences problems in school.
4. Unresponsive Parenting
– Unresponsive parents have few demands, low responsiveness and little communication with their children. Generally, the parents are very detached from their child’s life, apart from fulfilling the child’s basic needs. In extreme cases, these parents may even reject or neglect the needs of their children.
Diagnosis & Treatment Options
The most important thing a couple can do for their children and for their marriage is to remain united when raising and disciplining their children. This does not mean that you agree on everything, it means you support one another as parents, and show yourselves as a unified front to your children.
Here are some tips to help you and your partner agree on a parenting issue:
- Talk it out when the children are not around. Decide together what will work for everyone.
- Appreciate your spouse's strengths.
- Understand your parenting differences.
- Agree on what boundaries and rules to set with your children.
- Decide together how to enforce broken rules.
- Set emotions aside to focus on a solution.
- Develop listening skills and creative ways to compromise.
- Decide how important the issue is to you.
- Do not let your children put one of you against the other
There Is Hope!
Different parenting styles can help prepare kids for a world of negotiating various types of people. By observing their parents, they learn how dissimilarities can be complementary. Just remember that the goal of any good parent is to gradually move the baby who is completely dependent on you to an adult who can live successfully on his or her own.
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