Relationship Counseling/Therapy


Relationship Counseling and Therapy
in Lexington, Richmond & Frankfort KY

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We offer relationship counseling in Lexington KY. For your convenience, we have offices located in Richmond KY and Frankfort KY to help with your relationship counseling and therapy needs!

Relationship counseling is the establishment of a therapeutic relationship between a counselor and the members of a romantic or family relationship with the goal of helping improve communication strategies, re-establish intimacy, and educate the couple with techniques which can be used in the future as necessary. The goal of relationship counseling is to help preserve the relationship, save the marriage, and or help family members reach their goals. Many times this is called marriage counseling, family therapy, or family counseling.

Relationship counseling is a structured approach, with a mediator, to addressing the issues which come with the territory of being in a committed relationship. The therapy which is delivered in these sessions has been tested, assessed, and found effective. This is known as evidence-based treatment and it allows therapy to become “proven effective.”

Relationship counseling is the process or working as a couple, with your counselor, in order to voice concerns you may have in the relationship as well as your hopes for the future. In relationship counseling you will learn skills to help facilitate more frequent communication, come to a deeper understanding of one another, and learn more effective communication strategies.

What Issues Can It Help With?

A romantic relationship is often seen as the bedrock upon which we rest our lives. When there is discontent in the relationship it can lead to an increase in anxiety, a higher prevalence of depression, sexual dysfunction, and anger or resentment. These issues can be lessened with the assistance of a relationship therapist. Other issues, such as infidelity or difficulty communicating can also be addressed and worked through with a competent therapist acting as an unbiased mediator.

Issues such as depression, low self-esteem, and increased anxiety are just a few of the issues which can stem from relationship discord. These issues, and others like them, can find some alleviation when a competent counselor effectively applies the tools and techniques which allow a healthy relationship to take shape and bloom.

Whether you are experiencing a high number of arguments, issues with commitment or infidelity, communication problems or conflict avoidance, or sexual dysfunction/disharmony relationship counseling can offer assistance and alleviation to a varying degree. Success is largely dependent upon the determination of the couple but an effective relationship counselor will make certain that the members of the relationship never forget that there is always hope to save the marriage.

What If My Partner Doesn’t Want To Go?

This is a common concern which can often prevent people from seeking out a counselor with expertise in the field of relationships and marriage. While the data insists that progress is made much faster by the equal participation of both parties, improvement can be achieved even if only one person is attending sessions. The process of learning more effective communication strategies will help to reduce tension and may help the unwilling partner see the benefits of attending relationship counseling.

One of the most effective ways to address the issue of your partner not wanting to attend relationship counseling is to talk about the reasons they do not want to go. While progress can be made with just one person working toward saving the relationship, it is far more effective if both parties are involved. The difference is to recognize when someone is not willing to go to therapy and when someone is not willing to work in the relationship. Attempt to discuss the reasons that attending therapy would be beneficial and why it is important for you.

The most effective technique for getting your partner on board for relationship counseling is to talk with them. Listen to their reasoning for not wanting to attend therapy while voicing your concerns about why therapy would be a good idea. You want to keep in mind that preserving the relationship is the goal and therefore it is critical to remind your partner that the relationship is important to you. Listen to their concerns and try to see things from their perspective while maintaining that the relationship is in need of some help.

How Do We Find The Counselor For Us?

The search for a competent counselor should begin with word-of-mouth searches. Ask those you know, family and friends, to recommend a counselor or even recommend a counselor to avoid. The search can take some time but when attempting to preserve the relationship it is important to find a counselor who makes both of you feel comfortable and heard. The counselor should be unbiased and should keep the goal of saving the relationship at the forefront of the session goals.

The counselor should make you feel that you are safe, that you and your partner are in good hands. If you find yourself in a situation wherein you doubt the motives of the counselor or you feel that you are allowed to argue unchecked during therapy, it may be important to find another counselor.

The therapist should be compassionate to both members of the relationship and actively try to help communicate that there is hope for your relationship. The therapist should be an ever present entity in the therapeutic environment, forming the structure of the sessions and mediating disputes. The therapist is there to challenge you and the progress you are attempting to make within the bounds of your relationship.

Does It Work?

Relationship counseling has been shown to be very effective when the techniques and skills are religiously applied by the members of the relationship. Like all things, reparations to a relationship take time. Do not be disheartened if things seem to get worse before getting better. It is difficult to make a change but it is not impossible. Relationship counseling can help with the troubled aspects of your relationship; if you think you need help, please, seek it out.

The most important thing to remember when considering relationship counseling is that the counselor cannot save your marriage. The only way to save the relationship is to put in the work. It takes two dedicated individuals whom are willing to work through the issues which can cause strife in the relationship. The only way to make progress is to work through the issues as the come up, but the manner by which you work through them should be healthy and effective means of resolving conflict.

Tips To Use

Talk to your partner. Talk to them about their hopes, their dreams, what they did during the day.

Make the things that are important to them, important to you.

When the relationship is in turmoil sometimes the best thing to do is to go back to the basics. Re-find the person you fell in love with by becoming familiar with their favorite things in life. What is their favorite color? Movie? Food? Just because you knew it once does not mean that it hasn’t changed.

Point out the positives your partner exhibits, tell them what makes your smile, what makes you happy.

Make them a part of your life.

Myths:

The myths which are prevalent in our society concerning the attendance of counseling sessions are astounding. The most common myth is that relationship counseling will lead to a separation. The possibility of a separation may be a factor that both members of the relationship are trying to avoid and the overall goal of relationship therapy is to preserve the relationship. The counselor does not make decisions for the couple but offers support of their decision regardless of what outcome they desire.

There are innumerable myths surrounding the world of counseling. Herein are presented a few myths and the facts which dispute the myths. These links provide valuable information for anyone who buys into the hype that counseling cannot help or that problems must be severe in order for therapy to be a viable option. The help is all around you; if you feel that talking to someone could help even a little, do not hesitate to call.

Relationship therapy focuses around the techniques you can use to help build the relationship you want to have with your partner. As a co-founder of StrongMarriageNow.com, Dr. Fillmore offers online videos wherein skills to use in tandem with therapy can be obtained.

This is the first of a large session of videos present on youtube which discuss the elements of building a strong, solid marriage. Titled, His Needs vs Her Needs, this video introduces the term “Love Bank” and how it is already an element of your relationship.

Seek help in your relationship! We can help you today. Our trained and experienced staff will dedicate their time and effort into helping you work on your marriage!
New Client Info
Lexington, KY

Darby Creek Location
501 Darby Creek Road
Suite 11
Lexington KY, 40509
Phone: 859-338-0466
Fax: 859-294-0802

Recent Posts
By Paul Dalton 05 Feb, 2016
So you live in Kentucky and only a few more weeks until spring. Everyone should be happy and feel better about that, right? I think most of us get a sense of relief and hope, and that cognitive energy to bust out of the winter season and get moving. For some, the spring can be a rough time. Depression, anxiety, bi-polar disorder, and relationship issues prevent the spring season from being all that it could be. Following are some reasons that these and other conditions may worsen in the spring, a few resources for you, and some concrete strategies you can implement to help yourself. 

So why do people struggle some in the spring when it should be all flowers and sunshine? 

1. Sleep
Many times the spring season causes a change in our circadian rhythm . The sun wakes you up in the am, it is difficult to keep a routine, and restlessness all contribute to the sleep problem. Our eating in the winter and spring can affect how much we sleep. Caffeine, napping, undereating, and how much we are moving, all contribute to how much we sleep. Spring likely has an effect on melatonin in the body, which aids in sleep. 

Strategies that help are EXERCISE and EATING RIGHT! If you keep moving with the help of  a tool like a Fitbit or utilize regular exercise of 45 minutes or more 4-5 times per week, you are far less likely to have sleep problems. Exercise helps you sleep. Exercise helps you eat better. Eating and sleeping adequately can reduce your stress and fight any symptoms you may have. Eating healthy keeps your mind, body, and spirit in a positive place. When your body is well, your mind has a great chance of being well too. Sounds too simple? Give it a try!

The sleep foundation can help here :  Sleep Foundation Healthy Sleep Tips
Eating Right For Spring
Here is a good link to read on symptoms getting worse in the spring: Spring Makes Symptoms Worse

2. Spring Fever is Real
Our office has existed for over 15 years now. I can tell you that March to May is our busiest time of the year, always. Bipolar disorder, marital infidelity, depression, and anxiety are the main reasons people call us in the spring. The real causes of spring fever include longer days that produce more sunshine and increased energy, changes in hormone production, sleep cycles, nutrition and diet changes, body needs, and possibly, a lack of self care. When we bust of out winter here in Kentucky we sometimes forget that it takes a little time to get our minds and bodies in shape for yard work, spring cleaning, and for many, an increased workload all the way around. Here are some links to let you know spring fever is real. 

Spring Fever
WEB MD-You Give Me Spring Fever
Wiki Spring Fever
Spring Time Bad for Depression

3. Expectations Are High

Sometimes in spring we have been thinking about all the things we should of, could of, would of done if we had lived in San Diego or Florida during our winter days. The reality of being human can set in when we find out that spring has sprung, it is time to get moving, and we don't have the energy or drive to complete our list of high expectations. Many people are disappointed in themselves and these outcomes. Don't worry about it. 

Strategies you can use include setting small attainable goals you can feel good about. Work on your list a little at a time. Make goals that regular people can reach with time built in for you to EXERCISE AND SLEEP. Do a mix of things that you enjoy and are healthy for you while completing your responsibilities. If you deny yourself from pleasure too long, that strategy is likely to backfire. Have a good balanced approach. Use a checklist that has 3 sections. One section is for today. One section is for the week. Reserve one part of the list for things your are really wanting to do. Put a vacation or planned fun activities on a calendar. Look up things you might want to do during that time online. Planning, thinking and dreaming are fine. They keep us hopeful. 

Tiny Buddha Expectations and Disappointment
Expectations at The Silent Blog
Three Ways Expectations Can Hurt You

4. Allergies

If you live in Kentucky, you know about allergies. Kentucky is known to be one of the worst states when it comes to spring and fall allergies.  Louisville is ranked as one of the worst cities in the entire country to live in due to allergies.   Many times people are unaware they are being affected. Sometimes the symptoms are less obvious than a runny nose, cough, and cold like symptoms. Many times people are lethargic, grouchy, have headaches, and have cognitive deficits. The allergic affect we have in Kentucky can quickly turn into a sinus infection, bronchitis, ear infections, and other maladies that make us mentally and physically drained. That flower below can cause us some issues! 

Get to a doctor. Take a seasonal allergy medication. Some are mild, like Allegra (please get your physician's approval before taking allergy medications) and can be taken everyday. Prescription nose sprays may help, but may also have some cognitive or mood altering side effects. Be careful, but don't suffer! Get help from an allergist if you need it. 

Allergy Resources
Pollen Map
How to Beat Spring Allergies by WEB MD
By creekmoremarketing 21 Sep, 2015

Welcome to our website!

Therapy is a great choice. It works, and I hope you make a commitment today to start. Most people find the idea of attending therapy with a therapist or counselor far more scary than the actual process itself. Here is a link that describes how the process works at our locations.

Our therapists are located in Lexington, Frankfort and Richmond, KY. See individual profiles of our therapy providers here . I hire our professionals personally and attempt to provide you with someone that will care about your outcome and treat you well. These are experts at counseling and therapy and provide services you will want to tell others about.

Our clinicians care, and you will know they are different in that respect. Providing therapy in Central Kentucky is much more than a job to our therapists. It is a profession, and a way of life.

Please let us help you today!   Contact us here   or at 859.338.0466 now.

Sincerely,

Paul D. Dalton, MS, LPCC, CADC

More Posts
What is Counseling and Therapy?

Counseling is a short-term focus on specific issues and is designed to help a person address a particular problem, such as substance abuse or stress management, and problem solving.
Therapy is a longer term focus on broader issues, with the goal to promote unconscious awareness, uncover patterns, and learn new, healthier ways to think and interact.
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